Microsoft/IT/Computer jokes.

Here’s some awesome jokes I found over the internet.

Acronyms-The Real Meanings

PCMCIA – People Can`t Memorize Computer Industry Acronyms
ISDN – It Still Does Nothing
SCSI – System Can`t See It
DOS – Defective Operating System
BASIC – Bill`s Attempt to Seize Industry Control
IBM – I Blame Microsoft
DEC – Do Expect Cuts
CD-ROM – Consumer Device, Rendered Obsolete in Months
OS/2 – Obsolete Soon, Too.
WWW – World Wide Wait
MACINTOSH – Most Applications Crash; If Not, The Operating System Hangs
PENTIUM – Produces Erroneous Numbers Thru Incorrect Understanding of Mathematics
COBOL – Completely Obsolete Business Oriented Language
AMIGA – A Merely Insignificant Game Addiction
LISP – Lots of Infuriating & Silly Parenthesis
MIPS – Meaningless Indication of Processor Speed
WINDOWS – Will Install Needless Data On Whole System
MICROSOFT – Most Intelligent Customers Realize Our Software Only Fools Teenagers
RISC – Reduced Into Silly Code

Troubling End!

One of Microsoft’s finest techs was drafted and sent to boot camp. At the rifle range, he was given some instruction, a rifle and bullets.
He fired several shots at the target. The report came from the target area that all attempts had completely missed the target.
The tech looked at his rifle, and then at the target. He looked at the rifle again, and then at the target again.
He put his finger over the end of the rifle barrel and squeezed the trigger with his other hand.
The end of his finger was blown off, whereupon he yelled toward the target area, “It’s leaving here just fine, the trouble must be at your end!”

The Ring

Dave took Mary out for a romantic dinner where conversation turned to the subject of marriage. Dave had been saving for an engagement ring, but he was in graduate school and in dire need of a new computer.
Mary was understanding, telling Dave they had the rest of their lives to get engaged, so he should use his savings to buy a computer instead. During dessert, Dave suddenly reached into his pocket and pulled out an engagement ring.
Mary was stunned, but after she collected herself, she looked up and prompted, “Well, don`t you have something to ask me?”
Dave then got down on bended knee. “Honey,” he said, “will you buy me a new computer?”

Microsoft to sell Ad space in error messages

Microsoft announced that it is selling advertising space in the error messages that appear in Windows. Acknowledging for the first time that the average user of their operating system encounters error messages at least several times a day, Microsoft is trying to take financial advantage of the unavoidable opportunity to make an ad impression.
“We estimate that throughout the world at any given moment several million people are getting a “general protection fault” or “Illegal operation” warning. We will be able to generate significant revenue by including a short advertising message along with it,” said Microsoft marketing director.
The Justice Department immediately indicated that they intend to investigate whether Microsoft is gaining an unfair advantage in reaching the public with this advertising by virtue of its semi-monopolistic control over error messages.

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Zune Windows XP Theme

zunetheme.jpg

The Zune portable media player is shipping very soon and what better way to celebrate with Microsoft releasing a brand spanking new desktop theme for Windows XP!

The new Zune theme is a really nice looking theme. Make sure you go ahead and download it as it won’t be available for long.

The Zune Desktop Theme (for Windows XP) is available for download here.